What is Domestic Violence?
A Message From Dove, Inc.
•August 5, 2015•
by Mary Hughes
Moultrie County Dove Inc., Outreach Coordinator
Domestic violence is when one person in a relationship purposely hurts another person physically and/or emotionally. Domestic violence is also called intimate partner violence because it often is caused by a husband, ex-husband, boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. Women can also be abusers. Domestic abuse strikes couples of all races, religions, social economic status and sexual orientation. Warning signs for individuals to consider if they suspect they are the victim of intimate partner violence include feeling demeaned, assaulted or excessively controlled by their partner. Domestic violence is a cycle with three phases. In phase one there is increased tension, anger, blaming and arguing (walking on egg shells). In phase two there is an explosion with hitting, slapping, and kicking, strangling, use of weapons, sexual abuse and verbal threats. In phase three the abuser may deny the abuse and or say he is sorry and that it will never happen again. Most victims do not recognize the cycle of abuse because they minimize and deny the abuse on a daily basis so they can cope. Statistics show that a victim may leave her abuser five to seven times before she is successful at staying away. There are many reasons for this including being sabotaged by the abuser, pressure from her family and or church, lack of finances, lack of support from the community, lack of accountability by the criminal justice system and hope. Hope that the abuser will change, hope that she can keep their family together and hope that the violence will stop. Domestic violence affects our whole community including our children. As a community we must take a stand and send the message that domestic violence will not be tolerated. That message then needs to be upheld by our criminal justice system including our police department, sheriff’s department, state’s attorney and our judges. Domestic violence is a learned behavior and without holding the abusers accountable and providing support and education to victims the cycle will continue.